Heavy Metal Wheel of Sex!

By Kinger

So who doesn’t enjoy a good “round” of sex?

Well, in my ongoing effort to bring you insightful and unusual items from the Demolish Vaults, I was able to pull this gem out of my bag-o-metal-relics! I found this hilarious backstage pic that I took many moons ago from Bogart’s in Cincinnati, Ohio—which is still @ 2621 Vine Street oddly enough.

*Warning: please be advised this post + pic might contain some slightly lewd and or crude language for some readers [laughs].


Upon first viewing you might not be that impressed (me either -ed), but upon closer inspection the hushed giggles will probably begin to well up in your belly.

Feast your eyes on this work of art:


Pic© by Kinger/Demolish

Eat yer’ heart out Vanna White!

*In a nut shell, some crafty beaver put together a homemade “Heavy Metal Wheel of Sex” life-size board game. I suppose this person (or persons) were pretty darn creative and or bored out of their skulls while backstage. Personally I thought it was great and when I ran upon it I had to give it a spin or two!

Pic: Vegas Retro

This was in the late 80′s folks and I guess the Wheel of Fortune TV show was going strong and of course in those days Vanna was quite the young hottie.

It appears someone used an old ass bass drum head from a previous concert, that from the looks of it, took a beating (pun-intended)!

For all the Metal purists/fact-checkers out there (and or real drummer types), this looks to me like an old school 20″ – 22″ Remo Control Sound Series (w/Silver Dot) bass drum head. I could be wrong…

I attended many great shows at Bogart’s throughout the 80′s (since it was just a few hours drive from my Midwestern home base) at the time. If you were into Hardcore, Thrash Metal, Speed Metal, regular Heavy Metal, Rock etc.—it didn’t matter, it was all there…seven days a week.

I really miss that place + the “Golden Era of all things Metal“. It’s still there, but I  live in Chicago nowadays and that’s just too far to drive and or too expensive to fly. Besides, why would I want to do that when there is a thriving Metal scene practically in my back yard in the great Windy City?

*Original Bogart’s post card flyer

Some local sources say the place has not changed in years (or decades perhaps – ed) and needs some TLC and serious remodeling. I recall someone saying that they were forced to close the upstairs balcony area due to ceiling leakage and water coming down on the main floor; talk about dangerous! Yikes…I remember that (in)famous floor as being the host to some of the largest and most violent pits I ever saw anywhere peeps. When that band started and it was time to mosh, then let me tell you it was ON!

*Check out some of those lineups!

I remember a time when SLAYER played there (keep in mind this is a smaller theater type environment that holds just shy of 1500 ragers) and they had security up the wazoo. They were lined up on each side of the main floor like some sort of military exercise. Come to think of it, I think it might have been real Cinci Police Officers! Even with all that security, I think someone ended up getting stabbed and or hurt real bad in the mosh pit even. Go figure.

I don’t mean to paint a picture of Bogart’s as a bad place, but I think you know how damn crazy and rabid SLAYER fans can be? If not, beware as you will be rudely awakened—and rather quickly I might add, should you ever get “thrown to the wolves” or forced to go to one of their (awesome) live shows against your will!

yikes: “The proof is in the pudding….”

OK, enough no-nonsense nostalgic ramblings, let’s get back to the program.

Since it was such a smallish backstage area, the bands ended up playing with this thing for hours on end. I saw many uproars and or drunken bellowing coming from “The Wheel”—day time or night. Undoubtedly with plenty-o-booze (usually those nasty 32 oz. Foster’s Lager cans) + whatever “party favors” were around, then I guess pretty much anything can be funny and or positively entertaining!

Random History Note: This was pre-internet and cell phones young lads. This was when you had to use your imagination and or creativity to be entertained. ha ha!

I wish that I had taken more photos of this legendary Metal lore as some of the spots on “The Wheel” are not legible. Looks like I had the flash set to “auto” on my rusty 35MM camera! Oh well, I am just glad that I took this quickie shot, otherwise I would just be talkin’ smack and or reading a page outta’ my “Life With Heavy Metal” story book out loud—which is only published inside my head.

Step on up dude (and dudettes), spin the wheel and see what you land on (or get I should say). “Crabs”, arrrrggggh…spin again.

ACTUAL SCENARIOS ON the WHEEL:

  • Crabs
  • 38 DD Titty F**k
  • Spin Again
  • 14 year old (sic)
  • She just wants to be friends
  • Female impersonator
  • Talk to her (for 4 hours) & her BF shows up
  • Good Head
  • AIDS
  • Too drunk to f**k
  • She falls in love with you
  • Herpes
  • Great Sex
  • Devil Woman 666
  • Snappin’ P*ssy
  • Couldn’t make out the last 2 -sorry!

80′s Thrashers Backstage @ Bogart’s

I wonder who the creative genius is who actually built this beauty? I am pretty sure I snapped this pic while hangin’ out at the EXODUS + M.O.D. show. This would be the killer “Fabulous Disaster” era and tour fan boys & girlies. Those guys were all crazy, so maybe these Bay Area Thrashers are to blame/thank?

Maybe some old geezer/local Bogart’s regular will read this article one day and be able to correctly identify the master craftsman. If you are said geezer, then please contact us for extra credit “80′s Metal” points.

Here is a short list of other bands I interviewed and was lucky enough to see during that time (so the caper might be hiding among these musicians):

KING DIAMOND | TROUBLE | C.J.S.S | WRETCH | VIO-LENCE | FLOTSAM & JETSAM | TESTAMENT | DAVID T. CHASTAIN | ARCH RIVAL | OVERKILL | SLAYER | PANTERA | WRATCHILD | ANTHRAX | ZOETROPE | HEATHEN | MEGADETH | WARLOCK | SANCTUARY | VOIVOD | CRUMBSUCKERS | D.R.I. | FATES WARNING| SAVATAGE | METAL CHURCH | SACRED REICH etc.

The list goes on and on…

*Original “Hell on Wheels” stub. Click to enlarge

Take another good look at “the Wheel” pic above and see if you can find where the center of the wheel came from. I just happened to notice this after 20 years. I did not remember it being there at the time. I will give you a hint—it pre-dates the 1987 “Hell on Wheels” Tour (which featured a young HELLOWEEN, GRIM REAPER and ARMORED SAINT).

Taken From a HELLOWEEN advert from the 80′s

Quite suggestive I know, but I guess times were much different then and everyone wasn’t so outrageously politically correct. Tipper Gore and her cast of idiots over at the P.M.R.C. were putting up a “stink” about Metal Music in general and the above graphic artwork seemed pretty “playful” back when.

Thank God for Dee Snider and Frank Zappa for stepping up and speaking out against these conservative “political gangstas”. Good job fellas!


Thank you Bogart’s, staff, bands and Booking Agents for hosting so many great shows! You may not be the spiffiest of venues around to see live entertainment but you sure rocked my 80′s Metal World!

 

Linkage

Official Website

Bogart’s on MySpace


4 thoughts on “Heavy Metal Wheel of Sex!

  1. I found myself staring more at that vintage pic of Vanna White more than anything!
    Did Humphrey Bogart own this Rockin’ joint? (Just Kiddin’).

    That Helloween cartoon adv. looks like it would hurt.

    Great Metal nostalgia you have compiled… I only wish I was around those parts to have been there for a show or two.

    Another great Metal flashback journey courtesy of Demolish!

    Stone

    • Staring @ Vanna! ha ha…she was a hottie no doubt.

      Thanks for the post compliments.

      Yup – I wish you were around the Midwest area during that time too as I probably took about 50 different people down there with me throughout the 80′s.

      I will eventually get around to posting all of these interviews and also maybe live reviews of the shows.

      Laters,

      Kinger

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Heavy Metal Wheel of Sex! « Demolish Fanzine -- Topsy.com

  3. I remember getting Tom Araya‘s autograph behind Bogart’s.

    I said write something about bass on a dollar bill I gave him. He wrote “Something about bass”. LOL

    I think I was with you or Troy? During the “Reign in Blood” tour, we saw them on “South of Heaven” there too.

    I remember someone got a ticket from a cop for a having an open container!

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